Confessions of a Disillusioned SQA.

One of the first jobs I got right out of college was working on a technical support line for (at the time) a very well-known photography company. Trying to explain what it was like working as a Customer Support Representative (CSR) is like trying to explain to someone what it’s like going to war. Unless you’ve been through it you don’t understand. I may exaggerate a bit but not by much. As a CSR you are the face and voice of the technology and company you support. You are at the front-line defense in a battle to maintain your company’s reputation in the marketplace. You are the tech savvy foot soldier in a never-ending battle with the enemy who are out for blood and who will not stop calling! Otherwise known as your customer. While on the line you’re eating, speaking, breathing and bathroom habits are not only controlled by how many of the enemy you engage in an hour but also by the call center commanders who have you under constant surveillance. These technical management figure heads are allowed to roam free and bark orders at you while you’re leashed to a device which spews bile at your soul 8 hours a day. It’s the kind of job that can easily break your will to live and I did it for 2 ½ years.

That job was my introduction to the upside world of software and product development. A place where there are “aggressive” schedules, and everything is “as designed.” I’ve been working in the software and tech industry for over 15 years now. In that time, I have seen, heard and experienced things which can only be described as, “That’s fucked up.” Along the way I have collected some stories which I hope you find funny and familiar. Some of these events I have experienced first-hand. Other friends have shared with me during marathon happy hours after a long week in the silicon mines. Each week I will post one of these tech tales and pull the curtain back from our dysfunctional development process. Fair warning, the names have been changed to protect the innocent and smart people who have some common sense and get things done. Some of these stories go as far back as the heyday of AOL and Compuserve or as soon as the inception of the AGILE process. So much like a Scrum Master’s (formerly known as Project Managers) backlog don’t expect a linear timeline. I’ll just rank it a priority and post it. See all you “team players” next week!